Mercedes 4x4 on a test track... 

While travelling around the test track at this years 4WD and Caravan show, we were following Mercedes' new small 4X4. After negotiating a small hump, he proceeded to descend the other side, and on exiting, caught the rear bumper bar, tearing it off. Not what you would expect from a $65,000 4WD! ! ! Most embarrassing for the reps, and not really good P.R. for the company!

Some hours later, on our way out of the show, we saw a "drive yourself" track had been constructed in the car park, it was only short (about 500m to do the full circuit) but looked like a good chance to try out a new Pajero we had recently purchsed. 

The first section was about 30m of soft gluey mud, which then led onto a couple of steep mounds, constructed of soft earth and clay, then a left hand curve in very deep, slippery mud. We selected low range, 2nd gear, and proceeded around the course, having a little difficulty on the first section, as the wheel ruts were rather deep. 

After completing a few (9) laps of the course, we parked at the side of the track, to watch other owners put their vehicles through the course. (with varying amounts of success) Imagine our surprise, when the aforementioned Mercedes 4WD arrives at the "you drive" track, with a potential customer and his family inside, being chauffered by the sales rep, complete with suit and tie! !

There were a few other owners standing with us, all curious to see how Germany's finest would perform. All of the windows were down, and we could hear the rep launch into his sales pitch. As he started towards the first section (the deep mud) it soon became obvious that he was still in 2WD! This had the expected result, he became very bogged,  and the vehicle stopped dead in its tracks. Fortunately, one of the attendants was there with a shovel, and was able to place more dirt under the wheels,  so that he could reverse out. A small cheer broke out from the small group of onlookers, as the small car reversed back to the starting point, and the reps patter became a little faster. 

This time, he started in 4WD, and launched the car into the mud, but as soon as they started to slow, he hit the brakes, then the gas, and predictably, he sank, spun the wheels, and stopped about 3 m further than his first attempt! ! An even louder cheer went up, with some shouted advice about getting a Toyota, Nissan, Lada, etc. Unperturbed, he launched again, with some of the most "alternative" use of the throttle and brakes i had ever seen! This time, he was successful, and after only getting stuck for a second on a small rise (SWB remember) finished the course. 

By this time, more people were being attracted to all the cheering, and an audience of about 15-16 had gathered. The Merc. came around for another go, only this time the prospective customer was at the wheel. As you would expect, he flew through the course, with not a trouble at all, and pulled up at the start, and changed seats with the rep. Now, the windows were still down on the Mercedes, and we could hear exactly what was being said inside the car. 

"Now, if we engage the Automatic Traction Control feature, if the vehicle detects a loss of traction to one or more wheels, it will transfer power to the other wheels". Sage nods from the customer, and they proceed to enter the course again, but this time, instead of going in from a straight ahead approach, he attempted to enter from a mound of earth, which was off to one side. 

There was an expectant hush from the audience, as we all wondered why on earth anyone would attempt such a stupid entry into an already tricky section of track. The car became stuck on the top of the mound, and no amount of A.T.C. was going to make it go forward, so he reversed, and tried again. And again. And again! Then one long final again! ! By this time he was frantic, as each failed attempt was met with thunderous applause, cheering and catcalls. 

So, in an effort to save face, he launched one final time, made it over the mound with a resounding thump (the kind that makes you wince) and on into the mud. Unfortunately, he had lost nearly all his forward momentum, and became hopelessly bogged. The more he tried to drive/reverse out, the worse it got. 

After about a minute of this, even digging would'nt work, so a snatchum strap was procured, and a large 4X4, offered to pull him out. This was just not his day, as we all demanded that a little Suzuki 2 stroke do the job. The Suzy hooked up to the strap, engaged reverse, and in a cloud of 2 stroke smoke, plucked the Merc. from the mud. 

What happened next was the icing on the cake, someone handed the customer a few Toyota "BUGGER" stickers, and the windows were wound up, and he disappeared in a cloud of dust. 

What I would like to know, DID HE MAKE THE SALE?

 These pages were last updated on 4th July 2000. 
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